Dear younger Ivor, I’m sorry it has taken me this long to write to you. I’ve been meaning to write to you for ages but things got in the way. And by things, I mean life. I’m writing to you from the loneliest place in prison: Solitary Confinement Tank 7, B-Section, Drankenstein Juvenile Maximum Prison. This has been my home for the last 18 months, and will be for another three. You have to be 18 years old to be in the bigger cells, and I’m not quite there yet. The bright side is, here or there, my prison sentence … Continue reading Day 22: Letter to my childhood self (from a prison cell).
The cynic in me wants to make this post about all the things I used to be proud of, but I was convicted by a deeper reality that “proud” is an adjective that cannot be related to “used to”. Being proud of something or someone is to find satisfaction in their qualities, and who they are; not used to be. I’m proud of being South African. Regardless of her challenges, and the ways she’s raped by the people who’s supposed to protect her. She gave me life, and opportunities, and Table Mountain, and braai vleis. I’m proud of being “human”; of … Continue reading Day 15: Proud
My favorite movie of all time is the 1989 Robin Williams “Dead Poets Society”. I’ve seen this movie at least 5 times, if not more. I remember the first time I saw it, I was in my second year in Bible School. A couple of us had just started to reach out to homeless people in our area. We were hungry for social change, naively at that, but nevertheless. We asked difficult questions about our lives and our future, and our roles as young adults. As I watched this movie for the first time, everything in it resonated so much … Continue reading Day 19: My favorite film quote of all time
“Guilty pleasures” is just a short term for “feeling bad about feeling good’, which, I think, is something we shouldn’t feel, but we still do….especially men. I know if some men would have it their way, they would sloth it up all day, every day. I have to admit, I also get days where I just want to drop rubbish and clothes and plates and food boxes wherever I want to in my flat and never feel guilty about it. But that’s not guilty pleasures, that’s just plain lazziness. That’s all. I suppose my “favorite” guilty pleasure is going to the … Continue reading Day 18: Guilty pleasures
Day 17: If I were an animal, I’d be…. Continue reading Day 17: If I were an animal, I’d be…
Animals. Ah, man’s most beloved species. What man would go through for these species. Man kill for it, to protect it; man kill it himself, to eat it; man raise funds to make awareness of it; man even cries over it. I don’t understand this. I grew up disliking animals deeply, and it hasn’t changed. I respect them but I don’t have any interest in them at all. No matter how many times you show me a lion and his majestic authority, or cat doing a dance on youtube, I’d still say, “they’re just animals; no big deal”. I would … Continue reading Day 17: If I were an animal, I’d be…
The world is wrong about “saints”. It always so happens that when one important individual dies, the world turn them into saints. We make statues for them; put them on our money; honor their birthdays with holidays and big events and moments of silence. But we do not dare follow their footsteps or pursue the kind of bravery they had. That’s why it’s easier to put them on a coin and idolize them, almost as a way of saying “we can never do what they did”. I remember how the entire world turned silent and depressed almost, at Nelson Mandela’s … Continue reading Day 16: The world is wrong about…
I hope I won’t be judged for writing an open letter, as it’s season has come and gone so swiftly like a tourist in inner-city Joburg after dark. I wrote this a year ago, when open letters were what it was….letters in the mail that we opened. It’s not that I don’t have anything new to write; its just that it took me a long time to write this letter to my dad (although I’ve edited it a bit), after just forgiving him for dying on us, and I don’t think I have the energy to reach deep enough in … Continue reading Day 14: My Parents.
“Everything is fine”, she said. Everything is always fine, no matter the occasion, situation or celebration, as if the world was created with “fine”; as if God said, “let Us make man in Our image and let Him be fine”. “No”, he said, “everything can’t just always be fine. There are moments, like sunsets and newborn babies, that are works of genius, and there’s wars and famine, that are absolutely horrific. Certainly those things can’t be put in the same category as “fine”. She looked out the window, unmoved by his conviction to sway her to tell him where things … Continue reading Day 13: Dialogue
Nothing can make me feel more at home with myself than laughter. It’s the one thing I think I’m good at: to laugh, and laugh deeply. You know those laughs that makes you reach deep for just a little bit … Continue reading “what makes me laugh more than anything else is…”